what worries me:
-that the egg boxes centre stays only in my dreams
-if i write this thing that i started 2 years ago, it will be great. success scares me more than failure
-if i work really hard in my stuff it will make me more busy
-if i get busier, i won’t have time for my life
-that the space in my life that i keep saving for later may not get filled with what i want, or may not be filled at all
-all that i have learnt and love may not be shared
-my younger brother got married and now is having a baby. he has always lived his life by the book (university, work 2 years, marriage, home, got his own business, babies, etc). i wanted to life my life in a different way.
-i realized that i want the same things as my brother, but maybe it is too late
-i chose to follow my intuition and not the rules, and keep my options open and leave if i want to
-i might have been wrong
-i am going to San Pedro de Atacama next weekend and i have to find someone to take care of my dogs…ja. not that free anymore
-i am going to europe in september and october and have to find someone to take care of my dogs and my house. i can’t just leave now and forget about the world.
-i wanted to work less this couple of months, and find myself having 3 jobs that take up all my time, just because i was more available. ironic.
-my home is a mess and i collect cooking books to try recipes, but have no time to cook or go out with friends and i waste so much food that breaks my heart
-i have become so good at hiding my feelings and fears that i am scared that when the time comes, i won’t be able to show them.
-that i was not dealt the cards for loving someone and be loved back, and letting myself be vulnerable and loved. or i have the cards but have played them all wrong
yes, it is tantrum time… again.